But Why?

It all came to a head one winter week.

My team was being restructured. My friend and more experienced colleague was getting disestablished under the premise of team efficiency. But, especially as they were keeping my role, it was apparent that it was more personal.

The Corporation does not exist to provide us with meaningful work. It exists to create growing profits - just making lots of money isn't enough. Shareholders expect an underlying increase in value of a company. The company should be making more widgets, charging more per widget, or reducing the cost of the raw materials of the widget. As demand in NZ is relatively flat but the tolerance for higher priced widgets is very low, that just leaves the last one - reducing the unit cost. Do more with less. In this case, less people. Less expensive people.

As a single person with a mortgage, and a career that I'd call "varied" but others would call "inconsistent" I felt vulnerable. I've never had a problem getting another job, but then I've never been forced to under pressure and not while I've had the mortgage in play.

I very much resent that the Corporation, through no actions of my own, might decide I cost them too much and I'd be better replaced by a recent graduate for half the price.

I very much want to keep my house.

I very much want to do some long trips and really get to know a place. This is difficult to do with 4 weeks annual leave and a mortgage to pay. I don't want to wait til I'm 65 to do it.

The Corporation is not any different in any other private company. The public sector seems to be only in theory better; in practice its more prone to random philosophic restructures than anywhere else. I'd like to build a life that has meaning for me and not keep putting off things until I have enough annual leave or have saved enough over the mortgage bill.

The Corporation doesn't owe me a living but neither do I owe it my life. If I can, I'd like to break free of the dependency. I'd like to have a choice.