When you're re-rationalising everything you own it changes you.
I can't look at purchasing anything the same way - it is all stuff that will end up in my re-homing pile. Much of my purchasing is "problem solving". Oh, my tv doesn't do movie speech well so maybe I need a soundbar or home theatre system - but, apart from my current cold I hardly ever watch tv. I need a coffee making system that packs small for bikepacking - but now I'm decaffeinated. Purchasing stuff with a relatively weak premise appears to be a waste of time and energy.
I also realised that there are a fairly big heap of belongings that are simply occupying space. For example, my recipe books. I have maybe 2 recipes from each book that I actually use, but yet the book sits on my bookshelf. Why am I keeping them when I use the internet for inspiration these days? I watch all my DVDs off a hard disc drive. So why do I have a shelf full of DVDs?
It seems to me that this simplification process is like finding a needle in a haystack. Every so often you think you're getting somewhere, but then you look up and realise most of the haystack is still sitting waiting for you.
Monday, 20 June 2016
Monday, 6 June 2016
Cleaning Out
As I mentioned last time I've been cleaning up. To be honest, though, the process is trying.
Even before I decide to let go of the item there is a range of agonising that I seem to need to do.
This is a snapshot of what my brain says to me.
The recollection of buying the item
"Oh, I remember buying this!"
"I paid over $200 for it - I got a great deal through a workplace buying group*."
The recollection of using the item, and the reasons why the item isn't currently used.
"Its really too warm for riding but not waterproof. So its not usable by me in Wellington as the weather is generally cold and wet as opposed to cold and crisp."
But I might need it (just in case)!
My brain then tries to invent scenarios where I can use the item, thereby justifying keeping it. In particular, my desire to be "independent" and not need anyone else is challenged every time I let go of things.
I could upcycle/reuse
My brain suggests that instead of using a teapot as a teapot (cos I usually just use a tea basket) I could turn it into a plant pot instead. Yes, really, my brain suggested that.
The resignation - that I never should have bought the item in the first place.
This part usually makes me sad. :( I feel like the dream I had that inspired me to buy it in the first place has died. The dream of sitting around drinking tea out of a pretty tea pot is somehow dying. But really, I do plenty of sitting around drinking tea - just without the prettiness.
I also get gobsmacked by the amount of money I spent on items I don't use. The number (which fortunately I don't track) is gobsmacking.
Then I get an interlude, as it enters the blue plastic bin for re-homing.
Then, the question is : What next?
Is this likely to sell for anything exceeding the hassle factor?
Frankly, selling something via Trademe or Neighbourly I probably wouldn't do for less than $20. I find managing the process and completing the sale a distraction from life. So thats pretty much the minimum I'll actively sell something for.
Some things I feel should sell for what I list them, but for some reason they don't go which mystifies me. Possibly I haven't found the buyer yet, or the buyer hasn't found me.
Sometimes the things I want to sell have minor issues that I need to resolve before I list them which holds up the whole process.
If it fails to sell in one round, I have to enter into the next step as well.
Can I give this away to Friends and Family?
If I'm going to give it away, I'd far rather friends and family benefitted if the item would add value to their life.
Can I give this away to a charity?
The Salvation Army shop in Karori has benefited from a range of my belongings, but it is not always the right place. For example, cycling equipment and clothing are unlikely to get good new homes this way. So I've been forced to research a number of different options for disposing of specialty items.
Do I have to throw it away?
This really is a last resort. I hate the idea that whole and semi usable items end up in a landfill, yet many modern items are not built to last, nor for maintenance or recycling. This, in my view, should be unacceptable to us as a society.
Its not easy, nor fast. Its distinctly uncomfortable and personally challenging as I examine each item. Despite the necessary emotional shock, I'm already feeling the benefits of emotional clarity - I can find items and I only have items I actively use.
If you have a favourite charitable organisation for receiving goods - I'd love to hear from you!
Even before I decide to let go of the item there is a range of agonising that I seem to need to do.
This is a snapshot of what my brain says to me.
The recollection of buying the item
"Oh, I remember buying this!"
"I paid over $200 for it - I got a great deal through a workplace buying group*."
The recollection of using the item, and the reasons why the item isn't currently used.
"Its really too warm for riding but not waterproof. So its not usable by me in Wellington as the weather is generally cold and wet as opposed to cold and crisp."
But I might need it (just in case)!
My brain then tries to invent scenarios where I can use the item, thereby justifying keeping it. In particular, my desire to be "independent" and not need anyone else is challenged every time I let go of things.
I could upcycle/reuse
My brain suggests that instead of using a teapot as a teapot (cos I usually just use a tea basket) I could turn it into a plant pot instead. Yes, really, my brain suggested that.
The resignation - that I never should have bought the item in the first place.
This part usually makes me sad. :( I feel like the dream I had that inspired me to buy it in the first place has died. The dream of sitting around drinking tea out of a pretty tea pot is somehow dying. But really, I do plenty of sitting around drinking tea - just without the prettiness.
I also get gobsmacked by the amount of money I spent on items I don't use. The number (which fortunately I don't track) is gobsmacking.
Then I get an interlude, as it enters the blue plastic bin for re-homing.
Then, the question is : What next?
Is this likely to sell for anything exceeding the hassle factor?
Frankly, selling something via Trademe or Neighbourly I probably wouldn't do for less than $20. I find managing the process and completing the sale a distraction from life. So thats pretty much the minimum I'll actively sell something for.
Some things I feel should sell for what I list them, but for some reason they don't go which mystifies me. Possibly I haven't found the buyer yet, or the buyer hasn't found me.
Sometimes the things I want to sell have minor issues that I need to resolve before I list them which holds up the whole process.
If it fails to sell in one round, I have to enter into the next step as well.
Can I give this away to Friends and Family?
If I'm going to give it away, I'd far rather friends and family benefitted if the item would add value to their life.
Can I give this away to a charity?
The Salvation Army shop in Karori has benefited from a range of my belongings, but it is not always the right place. For example, cycling equipment and clothing are unlikely to get good new homes this way. So I've been forced to research a number of different options for disposing of specialty items.
Do I have to throw it away?
This really is a last resort. I hate the idea that whole and semi usable items end up in a landfill, yet many modern items are not built to last, nor for maintenance or recycling. This, in my view, should be unacceptable to us as a society.
Its not easy, nor fast. Its distinctly uncomfortable and personally challenging as I examine each item. Despite the necessary emotional shock, I'm already feeling the benefits of emotional clarity - I can find items and I only have items I actively use.
If you have a favourite charitable organisation for receiving goods - I'd love to hear from you!
Wednesday, 18 May 2016
Cleaning Up
I think I've always been a good consumer. My consumption is more to do with making my life look like the one I think it should be than the one it is.
The one I often think it should be is one that I'm happy and successful, with a nicely kept house, with provisions for any drop in guest, with the tools I need to fix anything by myself, clothes for all the appropriate occasions from DIY work to funky cool to formal wear, furniture and bedding in my spare room, gear for all the sports or activities I participate in or would like to participate in, pantry ingredients for things I would like to make or didnt make, kitchen utensils for every situation... and so it goes on.
Its alot of stuff.
I've been trying to consciously cut down on my belongings - in particular rehoming things that I don't use. Ideally I'd exchange them for cash via TradeMe or Neighbourly or Facebook when the item is worth the hassle, but I've also been donating bins of kitchen things and clothes to the Salvation Army or rehoming to friends. If I do make some money out of it I specifically transfer the money out to a savings account to add it to the Mortgage at the earliest convenience thus avoiding the risk that the money is assimilated into Friday night drinks.
Significantly, I'm down to three bicycles and I think two is the right number. That will mean a different two from the three I have now though - one a road/commuter/tourer, one a mtb, probably with 130mm of travel.
In doing so I've been consolidating storage things - empty a set of drawers and find a new storage place for all the things. As the things I've been 'storing' come out I realise how little they get used and they too get rehomed appropriately.
Here's to a simpler (and cheaper) life!
The one I often think it should be is one that I'm happy and successful, with a nicely kept house, with provisions for any drop in guest, with the tools I need to fix anything by myself, clothes for all the appropriate occasions from DIY work to funky cool to formal wear, furniture and bedding in my spare room, gear for all the sports or activities I participate in or would like to participate in, pantry ingredients for things I would like to make or didnt make, kitchen utensils for every situation... and so it goes on.
Its alot of stuff.
I've been trying to consciously cut down on my belongings - in particular rehoming things that I don't use. Ideally I'd exchange them for cash via TradeMe or Neighbourly or Facebook when the item is worth the hassle, but I've also been donating bins of kitchen things and clothes to the Salvation Army or rehoming to friends. If I do make some money out of it I specifically transfer the money out to a savings account to add it to the Mortgage at the earliest convenience thus avoiding the risk that the money is assimilated into Friday night drinks.
Significantly, I'm down to three bicycles and I think two is the right number. That will mean a different two from the three I have now though - one a road/commuter/tourer, one a mtb, probably with 130mm of travel.
In doing so I've been consolidating storage things - empty a set of drawers and find a new storage place for all the things. As the things I've been 'storing' come out I realise how little they get used and they too get rehomed appropriately.
Here's to a simpler (and cheaper) life!
Wednesday, 13 April 2016
What Is Important?
Limited time puts things into perspective that you've never considered.
What would your ideal day look like?
In the weekends I sometimes get my idea day - a gentle awakening. A slow breakfast at home with the cats, pottering in the garden or basement getting things "tidy" or "sorted" for the coming day/week/season. A social lunch with a few friends, then a mountain bike ride somewhere interesting or new - the objective not being my fitness or training but rather exploring or socialising.
If you didn't have to work for money, what would you do?
I'd probably end up volunteering for things based on the need of others - up to a point, whatever was most needed at any one time. Even now, if I have a free day and am aware that help is needed I'm pretty quick to put my hand up - usually at mountain bike events but also tree plantings and trail building. If I had no financial constraints I'd end up doing a lot more of this, and probably take a bit more responsibility (which usually I avoid). It is important to me, however, that these activities involve people. I have very little motivation to do these things without being part of a team or community.
I don't imagine this would be enough on its own. In which case I'd probably sign up for courses or lessons, whichever took my fancy at the time - languages, history, permaculture, programming all have their appeal. I'm not sure that I'd want to be completely immersed in any one thing to the exception of all others.
If you had 9 months to live how would you spend that time?
First up, I'd spend a decent chunk of time with my parents, siblings and older more distant relatives. I find as a single person living alone it can be a tremendously lonely experience with a feeling of disconnection or not being anchored. I think I'd die happier if those connections were stronger.
Then, a bunch of travel, at a slow pace. Meeting random people as I go and opening myself up for adventures that crop up. I believe this would make me feel like I'd truly lived.
What would you want your eulogy to say?
I'd hope that people would think that I was a good person, who could be relied on for support when needed. That they valued me in their life.
Answering questions like this makes me aware - no where in this is "work". I don't crave sitting at a computer; in fact most of my preferences are outdoors. People also feature heavily - activities arent satisfying unless they involve people. As an introvert I need to manage this better as though I find being with people tiring they also are part of life meaning for me. There's also a liking for novelty and new things. I wouldn't necessarily say I like new all the time - I have a great liking for a daily routine and a weekly rhythm, but also a desire for learning things and new experiences.
I don't want to wait til I'm 65 for this.
I don't have to. I've had my priorities not well aligned with my actions for so many years that its taking some time to reorient. Its time to sort things out.
- What would your ideal day look like?
- If you didn't have to work for money, what would you do?
- If you had 9 months to live, how would you spend that time?
- What do you want your eulogy to say?
What would your ideal day look like?
In the weekends I sometimes get my idea day - a gentle awakening. A slow breakfast at home with the cats, pottering in the garden or basement getting things "tidy" or "sorted" for the coming day/week/season. A social lunch with a few friends, then a mountain bike ride somewhere interesting or new - the objective not being my fitness or training but rather exploring or socialising.
If you didn't have to work for money, what would you do?
I'd probably end up volunteering for things based on the need of others - up to a point, whatever was most needed at any one time. Even now, if I have a free day and am aware that help is needed I'm pretty quick to put my hand up - usually at mountain bike events but also tree plantings and trail building. If I had no financial constraints I'd end up doing a lot more of this, and probably take a bit more responsibility (which usually I avoid). It is important to me, however, that these activities involve people. I have very little motivation to do these things without being part of a team or community.
I don't imagine this would be enough on its own. In which case I'd probably sign up for courses or lessons, whichever took my fancy at the time - languages, history, permaculture, programming all have their appeal. I'm not sure that I'd want to be completely immersed in any one thing to the exception of all others.
If you had 9 months to live how would you spend that time?
First up, I'd spend a decent chunk of time with my parents, siblings and older more distant relatives. I find as a single person living alone it can be a tremendously lonely experience with a feeling of disconnection or not being anchored. I think I'd die happier if those connections were stronger.
Then, a bunch of travel, at a slow pace. Meeting random people as I go and opening myself up for adventures that crop up. I believe this would make me feel like I'd truly lived.
What would you want your eulogy to say?
I'd hope that people would think that I was a good person, who could be relied on for support when needed. That they valued me in their life.
Answering questions like this makes me aware - no where in this is "work". I don't crave sitting at a computer; in fact most of my preferences are outdoors. People also feature heavily - activities arent satisfying unless they involve people. As an introvert I need to manage this better as though I find being with people tiring they also are part of life meaning for me. There's also a liking for novelty and new things. I wouldn't necessarily say I like new all the time - I have a great liking for a daily routine and a weekly rhythm, but also a desire for learning things and new experiences.
I don't want to wait til I'm 65 for this.
I don't have to. I've had my priorities not well aligned with my actions for so many years that its taking some time to reorient. Its time to sort things out.
Wednesday, 23 March 2016
This Is Why An Emergency Fund Is Important
Dear Joanna,
Your tooth has a dying/dead pulp (nerve) and the root canal spaces inside your tooth have started to become infected. This infection is the cause of the recent acute symptoms associated with your tooth.
Root canal treatment is necessary for your tooth. The alternative treatment option for your tooth is extraction. If left without any treatment the symptoms associated with your tooth will eventually worsen with time. The success rate of root canal treatment for your tooth is approximately 80-90%. If your tooth fails to respond to the treatment then an additional surgical procedure may be required to allow complete healing to occur.
With regards to the cost of the root canal treatment, this will be $1900.00. Half of this fee is due at the first treatment appointment and the remainder on completion of treatment. There is no charge for any follow up appointments required to assess healing.
If you have any queries or problems before your next appointment, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Kind regards
Wednesday, 16 March 2016
But Why?
It all came to a head one winter week.
My team was being restructured. My friend and more experienced colleague was getting disestablished under the premise of team efficiency. But, especially as they were keeping my role, it was apparent that it was more personal.
The Corporation does not exist to provide us with meaningful work. It exists to create growing profits - just making lots of money isn't enough. Shareholders expect an underlying increase in value of a company. The company should be making more widgets, charging more per widget, or reducing the cost of the raw materials of the widget. As demand in NZ is relatively flat but the tolerance for higher priced widgets is very low, that just leaves the last one - reducing the unit cost. Do more with less. In this case, less people. Less expensive people.
As a single person with a mortgage, and a career that I'd call "varied" but others would call "inconsistent" I felt vulnerable. I've never had a problem getting another job, but then I've never been forced to under pressure and not while I've had the mortgage in play.
I very much resent that the Corporation, through no actions of my own, might decide I cost them too much and I'd be better replaced by a recent graduate for half the price.
I very much want to keep my house.
I very much want to do some long trips and really get to know a place. This is difficult to do with 4 weeks annual leave and a mortgage to pay. I don't want to wait til I'm 65 to do it.
The Corporation is not any different in any other private company. The public sector seems to be only in theory better; in practice its more prone to random philosophic restructures than anywhere else. I'd like to build a life that has meaning for me and not keep putting off things until I have enough annual leave or have saved enough over the mortgage bill.
The Corporation doesn't owe me a living but neither do I owe it my life. If I can, I'd like to break free of the dependency. I'd like to have a choice.
My team was being restructured. My friend and more experienced colleague was getting disestablished under the premise of team efficiency. But, especially as they were keeping my role, it was apparent that it was more personal.
The Corporation does not exist to provide us with meaningful work. It exists to create growing profits - just making lots of money isn't enough. Shareholders expect an underlying increase in value of a company. The company should be making more widgets, charging more per widget, or reducing the cost of the raw materials of the widget. As demand in NZ is relatively flat but the tolerance for higher priced widgets is very low, that just leaves the last one - reducing the unit cost. Do more with less. In this case, less people. Less expensive people.
As a single person with a mortgage, and a career that I'd call "varied" but others would call "inconsistent" I felt vulnerable. I've never had a problem getting another job, but then I've never been forced to under pressure and not while I've had the mortgage in play.
I very much resent that the Corporation, through no actions of my own, might decide I cost them too much and I'd be better replaced by a recent graduate for half the price.
I very much want to keep my house.
I very much want to do some long trips and really get to know a place. This is difficult to do with 4 weeks annual leave and a mortgage to pay. I don't want to wait til I'm 65 to do it.
The Corporation is not any different in any other private company. The public sector seems to be only in theory better; in practice its more prone to random philosophic restructures than anywhere else. I'd like to build a life that has meaning for me and not keep putting off things until I have enough annual leave or have saved enough over the mortgage bill.
The Corporation doesn't owe me a living but neither do I owe it my life. If I can, I'd like to break free of the dependency. I'd like to have a choice.
Wednesday, 2 March 2016
Goals and Being S.M.A.R.T.
I used to be one for S.M.A.R.T. goals. I guess it appealed to the engineer in me that I could set and achieve a goal which was specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timebound. It seems to make absolute sense that I could break a goal (compete in a triathlon) into its component parts (swim, bike, run, transitions), tick them off progressively (learn to run, gradually increase the distance no more than X%, improve swimming stroke efficiency, increase swimming distance to Y km), and magically achieve anything I wanted.
However. My mindset was insufficiently flexible to accommodate injuries (shin splints), illness (usual winter colds), work travel (too many aeroplanes and airports, jetlag, also see illness). I would become horribly disappointed with myself that I was unable to stick to such a simple concept. At the first challenges I would realise that my goal was at risk and become disillusioned and demotivated.
I threw away the whole concept of S.M.A.R.T. goals as I regarded them as a negative influence on my psyche.
In some ways, though, being able to state ones goal out loud is tremendously motivating. When each individual decision comes up that will either take me closer towards my goal or further away I can make a conscious decision recognising the true impact of that decision and explain it to otheres Ideally of course, we outsource most of these decisions so that we dont have to decide at all.
As I've mentioned before I'm trying to pay down as much mortgage as I can so I can do a period of travel. Specifically, I'd like to take a year off and rent my house out to travel by bike overseas. As I need the house to be self-supporting financially while I'm away there is a certain amount of debt the rent can carry. That is very measurable. I've made a bunch of assumptions in my magic spreadsheet including interest rates, rental income, and the costs of management and maintenance. I need to have my house debt below 150k to kinda break even though admittedly at this level I've been a bit conservative about rental income and interest rates.
Its also very achievable in the next few years - well, according to my magic spreadsheets at least! Each month I see a significant amount of principal getting paid off which is definitely helped by the current low interest rates. All going well I should get there sometime in 2017 and travel in 2018. Which makes it also both realistic and timebound.
I think the difference at the moment is that I have enough buffer to cope with the ups and downs. I have a healthy emergency fund that is sitting there gathering interest and money is allocated monthly as soon as I get paid for my core bills.
When the goal is close enough to be conceivable this is like gold dust for your motivation! But, its also so close that I'm constantly tempted to spend money on bike or bike accessories or travel guides for some of the routes.... The self sabotaging part of my brain kicks in. It likes to plan ahead and be prepared, but should I indulge it I might lose the progress I'm making.
No, I dont need a new bike now. Lets flog the ones I've got for another 2 years. Maps and travel guides change. Get them at the time; get them as I go (as I'm not going to want to carry it with me!)
These conscious decisions are eroding my ability to focus on that which matters, which is keeping my costs low and therefore the rate of debt paydown. The default answer to all these ideas has to be no as they consume so much mental energy, not to mention computer and internet time.
I need to save my energy to make conscious decisions that matter. To cook the beans from my garden, not buy brocolli from the supermarket. To cook the multitude of frozen berries in my freezer, not buy treats or sweets. To fix my bikes with the parts I have in the basement, not solve all my problems at the bike shop. To do the maintenance on my house myself, as I know I can figure it out if I take the time. To lend my time and car/strimmer/waterblaster/axe as much as possible to those near me, and not be afraid to ask for support when my jobs need a second pair of hands.
These are the conscious decisions that matter.
Who knows, I might actually manage to achieve a SMART goal. Stay tuned!
However. My mindset was insufficiently flexible to accommodate injuries (shin splints), illness (usual winter colds), work travel (too many aeroplanes and airports, jetlag, also see illness). I would become horribly disappointed with myself that I was unable to stick to such a simple concept. At the first challenges I would realise that my goal was at risk and become disillusioned and demotivated.
I threw away the whole concept of S.M.A.R.T. goals as I regarded them as a negative influence on my psyche.
In some ways, though, being able to state ones goal out loud is tremendously motivating. When each individual decision comes up that will either take me closer towards my goal or further away I can make a conscious decision recognising the true impact of that decision and explain it to otheres Ideally of course, we outsource most of these decisions so that we dont have to decide at all.
As I've mentioned before I'm trying to pay down as much mortgage as I can so I can do a period of travel. Specifically, I'd like to take a year off and rent my house out to travel by bike overseas. As I need the house to be self-supporting financially while I'm away there is a certain amount of debt the rent can carry. That is very measurable. I've made a bunch of assumptions in my magic spreadsheet including interest rates, rental income, and the costs of management and maintenance. I need to have my house debt below 150k to kinda break even though admittedly at this level I've been a bit conservative about rental income and interest rates.
Its also very achievable in the next few years - well, according to my magic spreadsheets at least! Each month I see a significant amount of principal getting paid off which is definitely helped by the current low interest rates. All going well I should get there sometime in 2017 and travel in 2018. Which makes it also both realistic and timebound.
I think the difference at the moment is that I have enough buffer to cope with the ups and downs. I have a healthy emergency fund that is sitting there gathering interest and money is allocated monthly as soon as I get paid for my core bills.
When the goal is close enough to be conceivable this is like gold dust for your motivation! But, its also so close that I'm constantly tempted to spend money on bike or bike accessories or travel guides for some of the routes.... The self sabotaging part of my brain kicks in. It likes to plan ahead and be prepared, but should I indulge it I might lose the progress I'm making.
No, I dont need a new bike now. Lets flog the ones I've got for another 2 years. Maps and travel guides change. Get them at the time; get them as I go (as I'm not going to want to carry it with me!)
These conscious decisions are eroding my ability to focus on that which matters, which is keeping my costs low and therefore the rate of debt paydown. The default answer to all these ideas has to be no as they consume so much mental energy, not to mention computer and internet time.
I need to save my energy to make conscious decisions that matter. To cook the beans from my garden, not buy brocolli from the supermarket. To cook the multitude of frozen berries in my freezer, not buy treats or sweets. To fix my bikes with the parts I have in the basement, not solve all my problems at the bike shop. To do the maintenance on my house myself, as I know I can figure it out if I take the time. To lend my time and car/strimmer/waterblaster/axe as much as possible to those near me, and not be afraid to ask for support when my jobs need a second pair of hands.
These are the conscious decisions that matter.
Who knows, I might actually manage to achieve a SMART goal. Stay tuned!
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